(Some of) What my mum taught me

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Parents have philosophies to impart all the time. Half of them are good, a quarter of them we dismiss as being half baked and the other quarter, we will remember for the rest of our lives.

This is one such philosophy which will stay on for a very long time within me. My mum’s notion of love is has always been out of social norms. Her own love story is one that seems to be written out for the screens and yet, she is one of the happiest married women I have ever seen.

Her philosophy is simple: for love to work there’s three essentials – the right person, right timing and right place.

Right person

This is the person that you wanted and needed all along. You won’t realize it when you meet him. You might not even realize it after being with him for a few months. But sooner or later, you will realize that this kind of compatibility is rare to come by. Oh, and also the fact that you have invested your time and efforts to make it work – essentially, you made that person the right one for you.

It’s very different from meeting the one. Anyone can be the one after all if you frame your mind in a certain way. It’s how you make and shape the relationship that will eventually determine if the relationship is short or long haul material.

Right timing

This should be pretty self-explanatory right? If you had found the right person at a time where you are not ready to settle down or to commit yourself in the long run how is the relationship ever going to work?

Right place

We all have right places and wrong places in our lives. This is highly linked to the right timing factor; if you are in your undergrad studies and found someone to be with, you guys might transition into working life smoothly or find yourself growing apart. The right place is tricky. It is the difference between getting serious and getting nowhere. Who knows what could happen with the passing of time after all? People change all the time. And without a right place where stability can be nurtured, you basically annul all possibility of having a long-lasting relationship.

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Does it sound simple? My mum makes it sound so summarised. Love is a verb and a concoction of these three things. To her, all three elements are essentials. Without any one of these elements, love just wouldn’t and couldn’t work out. Maybe she’s right. Maybe she has made sense of it all – after all, she’s still happily in love.

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