Mother Nature has her own secrets and course of life that she does not reveal. Natural disasters – which are full of heartbreaks and loss for us – is perhaps, just her changing, stretching, evolving to prepare the for the future. 2015 has been uncertain – not for me personally, but for the world. There seems to be an air of instability hovering around the corner, this atmosphere of timidness and unsureness that seems disdainful, petulant and sour. I haven’t been writing as much but that’s due to a resolve I made in the beginning of the year – that I will work harder, travel less. I have been keeping my promise. And while that promise has been kept, I have seen in news the places I have visited in the past year (2014) struck with tragedy and permanent change.
I walked the streets of Kathmandu in Nepal last year – I fell in love with the country, her people and the food – even the climate. Out of all the places I have been to so far, Kathmandu remains my favourite and yet…
My friends and I hiked Mount Kota Kinabalu last year as well – I daresay it was a life changer. The gruelling hours of scaling the mountain, the pounding headache as our bodies try to acclimatise, the 3am ascent to the top, the sun rise, the hike down (oh lord), the celebratory meal after, the sleep in the hostel – the entire trip was humbling. I felt more alive than ever – it was in a sense, magical. This week, that same mountain and its surrounding area has been hit with an earthquake. Hikers were injured, deaths are being calculated like it’s some kind of statistics and people, even nations, mourn helplessly.
It saddens me, these news. But as it is, life has always been temporal. And life, will always go on no matter what. We have always taken this small but crucial fact for granted – thinking we are invincible when we are actually so vulnerable. Humans live and die (I am in no way putting light the events that have happened) and more importantly, it is when tragedies strike that the true strength of the human spirit shine through – our hearts might break as we lose our family, our belongings, our everything but our ability to withstand that pain and loss – to rebuild everything – that is the true celebration of life as well. I can’t speak for those people – I have been blessed with a good life, but I have a deep respect for those who have truly experienced loss and are still able to smile at life.
After all, what is life but a vicissitudes of events – life changing or not – that shape us, that make us feel, that lets us tell stories over dinner tables and social events…Well. I have always wanted to feel alive. And that seems a very spoilt thing to say at this period where some people are trying to stay alive. So my new mid-year resolve (if there ever was such a thing) is to find more meaning in life, do more things that make me feel alive and actually be feeling all these ups and downs I am supposed to feel when I am still kicking.