My fingers brush your face – your eyes are closed as I shower you with pecks that I hope can transmit the love I feel for you. Who is this boy that came unwittingly into my life about a year and a half ago and taught me the strengths of a team? Sometimes I wonder how much love I can hold in my heart. I used to feel a torrential burst of love towards my parents; when you appeared, my heart expanded, creating a space, they grow together in unison, in harmony.
You still annoy me of course, with you incessant “What are you doing” when I am silent and reading. You have learnt to take my complaints about your Dota with grace, indulging me with movie-nights and cuddling time that I am secretly elated about. You have no idea (and sometimes I, myself don’t too) how happy I am when I look at you, this love that has sprung across the meadow I used to enjoy myself. I could literally write Happy all day long and it still would’t fully capture the happiness in me. This is the face I want to fall asleep looking at. You are the face that brightens the dark recess in my mind, the pessimist, naggy, jaded me who loves to rant about inconsequential things. I feel trapped in my own body of thoughts that sometimes I think, I need to write them down, I just need to – but who will understand? Who can comprehend?
These days, I am mostly silent. I no longer want to vocalise my view points – the world is already noisy as it is. These days, I dream of quiet meadows, and a farm that I can live in (but impossibly manage) – ideals, ideals, ideals fill my head as I confront reality everyday and enter the art world that I have come to love but still do not understand. You are not a knight in shining armour, I was never very much into brawny men, and you are not the nerdy, artsy fartsy, romantic drummer guy that epitomised my “dream guy” when I was younger. You are not this or that but in you, I have found what I needed most. In you I have found the quiet, unassuming, gentleman who is chivalrous, quiet and steadfast. You are the man who has the stretchiest patience and giving heart that one could ever ask for; I do know how difficult I can be at most times.
And no matter what happens in the months or years to come, right now, at this moment and at this juncture, you are the man that I have come to love unequivocally, irrevocably, and completely.